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A MUST READ FOR ALL MARRIED COUPLES AND AN EYE- OPENER FOR THE YET to...
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner,I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly Ididn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let herknow what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raisedthe topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead sheasked me softly, why? I avoided her question. Thismade her angry. She threw away the chopsticks andshouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew shewanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; shehad lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn’t love her anymore.I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorceagreement which stated that she could own our house,our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me hadbecome a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time,resources and energy but I could not takeback what Ihad said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expectedto see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for severalweeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found herwriting something at the table. I didn’t have supperbut went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fastbecause I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the tablewriting. I just did not care so I turned over and wasasleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions:she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month'snotice before the divorce. She requested that in thatone month we both struggle to live as normal a life aspossible. Her reasons were simple: our son had hisexams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more,she asked me to recall how I had carried her into outbridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration Icarry her out of our bedroom to the front door evermorning. I thought she was going crazy. Just tomake our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. Shelaughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matterwhat tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce,she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since mydivorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when Icarried her out on the first day,we both appearedclumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holdingmummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense ofpain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then tothe door, I walked over ten meters with her in myarms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tellour son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhatupset. I put her down outside the door. She went towait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance ofher blouse. I realized that I hadnt looked at thiswoman carefully for a long time. I realized she wasnot young any more. There were fine wrinkles on herface, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken itstoll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had doneto her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt asense of intimacy returning. This was the woman whohad given ten years of her life to me. Onthe fifthand sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacywas growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. Itbecame easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She triedon quite a few dresses but could not find a suitableone. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grownbigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown sothin, that was the reason why I could carry her moreeasily. Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain andbitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's timeto carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carryinghis mother out had become an essential part of hislife. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because Iwas afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held herbody tightly, it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the lastday, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that ourlife lacked intimacy.
I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay wouldmake me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dewopened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I donot want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonishedand then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved herhand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won'tdivorce. My marriage life was boring probably becauseshe and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now Irealize that since I carried her into my home on ourwedding day I am supposed to hold her until death doesus apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave mea loud slap and then slammed the door and burst intotears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet offlowers for my wife. The sales-girl asked me what towrite on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
The small details of your lives are what really matterin a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah.. blah. These create an environment conducive for happinessbut cannot give happiness in themselves. So find timeto be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
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